The gorgeous evening sky beckoned me outdoors; I eagerly responded to its call. My husband had offered to keep the toddler occupied so I could enjoy some moments of solitude. As I started up our long hill, a myriad of jumbled thoughts crammed my mind. The serene sunset and brisk, cold air momentarily brought relief and restoration. However, I soon found the aforementioned troubling thoughts and accompanying negative feelings to be pervasive and very real. I couldn’t deny their presence, but neither could I insist that they accurately reflected the truth. There were feelings of disappointment, failure, and inadequacy. I realized that beneath those fear-based feelings were lies that needed to be replaced with truth. I found myself studying the heavens, desperately longing for a sense of my Abba Father’s presence. Heartbroken, I began to tell Him that at the core of my being I struggled to believe that the way in which He created me was good. My deep held longings. My intense desires. My emotions- oh, this was a big one. How many times had I regretted and felt shamed by the tears that came without warning. In those times, it seemed that factual or intellectual relating would have been more acceptable. As I laid these things out before my Father, I realized I was exemplifying the very things I struggled to accept about myself. In that space of time there wasn’t a loud clap of thunder or a visible object falling from the sky. There was, however, a keen sense that my Father wanted to speak to me. His gentle hand hand reached toward mine, His eyes of compassion were on me and His voice spoke truth that ministered to my soul. “Jo, I’m with you… I take great delight in you, I will quiet you with My love, I will rejoice over you with singing! (Zephaniah 3:17) I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1) As my Father brought these scriptural truths to my mind, I experienced a measure of peace and sweet relief. I was treasured in my Father’s eyes and He delighted in the person He created me to be. Assuredly, there were and are fears and reactions that He desires to deliver me from. I am an ongoing work in His hands. However, my personality and my giftings are not a mistake!
We all have been gifted moments like I have when the sweetness of our Father’s presence and His words of truth leave a lasting imprint on our heart. Be encouraged! Be strengthened! Our Abba Father is singing over us!
1 Thessalonians 5:23 is my personal prayer and desire for each of you, my sisters in Christ: “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through (that is, make you pure and whole and undamaged-consecrated to Him-set apart for His purposes); and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete and (be found) blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Bio: I am privileged to do life with Eric! He keeps me laughing; we seemingly never have a dull moment. Life together has been an adventure. There have been times of incredible hardship, and there have also been good, sweet times. I deeply desire to understand more of My Father’s heart toward me. I am grateful to be His. I enjoy mothering Cedric, our active two-year-old. My days feel full with the responsibilities of being a wife and mother. I treasure connections with friends, I find refreshment in solitude and walks, and a good cup of Java in my favorite mug always gives me a boost.